I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not to share this post. It touches on deeply personal experiences, and it wasn’t an easy decision to put these thoughts into words, let alone make them public. After much reflection, I realised that continuing to share my journey might resonate with others who are navigating similar challenges. So, with some hesitation, here it is.
Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia has taught me a lot about limitations – both my own and those of the people I care about. Over time, I’ve had to make difficult decisions. When chronic illness becomes part of the equation, relationships often change in ways that are hard to predict.
Choosing to Let Go for the Right Reasons
I recently ended my relationship of ten years. She had always been there for me, but my inability to fully participate in our life together meant she had to take on the role of my carer. That dynamic wasn’t fair to either of us. The guilt of needing so much care while not being able to do the things we used to enjoy was wearing me down. It was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made, but I knew it was right, even through the pain. Since then, I’ve been happier, I really hope that she has too.
Breaking up was necessary, not because of a lack of love, but because the relationship had shifted into something that drained both of us. When caregiving becomes the dominant role in a relationship, it can lead to burnout, emotional fatigue, and a growing sense of imbalance. I realised that staying in the relationship, while familiar and comforting in some ways, wasn’t allowing either of us to live the kind of life we deserved.
Since the breakup, there’s been a sense of relief, in a way. It’s bittersweet, of course—I’ll always care deeply for her, and we’ve maintained a strong friendship, but stepping out of the carer-patient dynamic has allowed us both to breathe a little easier. Without the constant guilt, I’ve noticed a shift in my own energy levels. Sometimes, it’s not just physical limitations that hold us back, but the emotional burdens we carry.
Focusing on Well-Being: Finding Balance Again
After the breakup, my first priority has been my well-being. Living with CFS and Fibromyalgia already requires careful energy management, but I hadn’t fully realised how much emotional stress was impacting me. Chronic illness often forces us to focus on physical symptoms, but the emotional strain of worrying about being a burden to others can be just as exhausting.
In the months that followed, I began to focus inward. It wasn’t just about managing my physical health—it was about mental and emotional recovery as well. Taking time for self-care became essential, and I started making intentional decisions about how I spent my energy. Routines like rest, pacing, and improving my sleep quality were already helping manage my symptoms, but I had to go deeper. Stress, in particular, tends to make everything worse, leading to flare-ups and longer recovery times, so reducing that became a priority.
I’ve found that by learning to be more mindful of my limitations, I’ve been able to maintain a better balance. Small, simple changes—like setting aside time to rest without guilt or avoiding overly stressful situations—have made a meaningful difference in how I feel day to day. Finding that balance between activity and recovery has become one of the most important aspects of managing my condition.
Moving Back Home: A Different Dynamic
One of the biggest changes after the breakup was moving back in with my parents. I’m trying to save up for a deposit on a house, but until then, living with them has been both a relief and a challenge. At times, I still feel like a burden, but it’s a different dynamic with my parents. Unlike a romantic relationship, where the shift to caregiving can strain both partners, with my parents—especially my mum—it feels more natural.
My mum has been a constant source of support. She’s always there for me, and there’s never a moment when she doesn’t offer to help in any way she can. She’ll do anything to make me feel better, even if it’s something as simple as making sure I rest when I need to. She truly is an angel on earth. That kind of unconditional love and care is something I’ve come to lean on during this period of transition. While I don’t want to be a burden, knowing that I have her support has made this process a lot easier to navigate.
Moving back in has been an adjustment, of course. There’s always the lingering feeling of wanting to regain my independence, but for now, I’m learning to accept the help I need while working toward my goals.
3D Printing: A New Hobby and Business Venture
In addition to focusing on my health, I’ve found a new hobby that has brought a sense of fulfilment—3D printing. It started as a creative outlet, something I could engage in at my own pace, especially on days when I didn’t have much energy for other activities. Having a hobby like this has been incredibly rewarding because it doesn’t require physical exertion but allows me to use my mind in ways that are satisfying and productive.
What began as a personal interest has started to develop into something more. I’m now exploring the possibility of turning this hobby into a small business. The flexibility 3D printing offers is crucial when managing a condition like CFS—on days when my energy is low, I can take a step back, and when I’m feeling better, I can dive into projects and explore new ideas. This balance is key to making the hobby sustainable and enjoyable.
More than just an outlet, 3D printing has brought back a sense of purpose. Creative activities are known to help improve mental health by offering a sense of accomplishment, and I’ve definitely felt that. Having something to look forward to on days when I’m feeling well has been a great motivator. While I’m still in the early stages of turning this hobby into a business, it’s something that excites me and gives me hope for the future. I’ll share more about this venture as it develops, but for now, I’m enjoying the process.
Moving Forward: Embracing New Possibilities
Letting go of a long-term relationship, moving back in with my parents, and discovering 3D printing have all been part of a larger process of finding balance. Living with CFS and Fibromyalgia is a constant juggling act, and learning how to balance physical health with emotional well-being is crucial. Each decision I’ve made—from ending the relationship to embracing my mum’s support to diving into a new hobby—has been about creating a life that feels more sustainable and fulfilling.
Moving forward, I’m hopeful. Whether it’s through work, focusing on my health, or building something new with 3D printing, I’m learning to live with CFS in a way that feels right for me. The future, while uncertain, feels more open and filled with possibility.
