Lately, I’ve been focusing more on my well-being, and one of the key changes has been my prescription for medical cannabis. It’s been incredibly helpful in managing the symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia. Cannabis works by interacting with the body’s endocannabinoid system, which helps regulate pain, inflammation, sleep, and even immune responses. For people like me with chronic pain conditions, it’s proven to be an effective alternative when traditional treatments fall short.
The benefits I’ve noticed have been significant—less pain, better sleep, and most importantly, more energy. It’s not a cure by any means, but it’s helped me regain some control over my life. Studies have shown that cannabinoids, like CBD and THC, can reduce pain and improve sleep quality in people with chronic conditions like Fibromyalgia. The THC component helps with pain relief, while CBD can reduce inflammation and anxiety, which are often intertwined with chronic illness.
However, using cannabis in public has been a struggle for me. Despite its medical benefits, there’s still a stigma around cannabis use in the UK, and it’s been challenging to feel comfortable using it openly. The looks, the judgments—it feels like an unnecessary hurdle when I’m just trying to manage my symptoms. To help with this, I’ve requested a discreet vape that looks and smells like any normal vape. This will allow me to use it in public without drawing unwanted attention or judgment. It’s a small adjustment, but one that can make a significant difference in how I manage my condition day-to-day.
Illness Overshadows Love
Living with a chronic illness can overshadow even the strongest love. When you’re constantly managing pain, fatigue, and other symptoms, it becomes harder to give yourself fully to a relationship. Sometimes the illness creates an invisible wall, making it difficult to connect as deeply as you’d like.
As my physical health has improved, my mind has often drifted back to the breakup. It’s become clear that I made the decision for me, but with her in mind. The guilt of feeling like a burden had begun to sap so much of my energy. Every day, I felt like I was holding her back, watching her take on more responsibility than she should have had to. That guilt was exhausting, weighing me down in ways I didn’t fully realise at the time.
At the time, I thought saying “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” was an honest reflection of my feelings. Now, I realise it wasn’t the full truth. I think I said it because it felt like the easiest way to explain the overwhelming guilt and pressure I was feeling. The reality is, if it weren’t for my illnesses (and the distance from family), we could have been perfect together. She was my person in almost every other way, but the weight of my illness complicated things.
I still stand by my decision—it was the right one for that time in my life. I needed to focus on my health, and the strain of the relationship was becoming too much – not because of the relationship itself, but because of the knowledge that I was a burden (no matter how much I was told otherwise). If circumstances were different, I don’t doubt that we would have made it. Sometimes, even when the love is still there, the right decision is to walk away before the love turns to resentment. I may have regrets about how I framed it, but I still stand by the decision itself.
Adventures Abroad
On a much lighter note, Mum is off in Ireland on a grand adventure, traveling around the country with her sister and a friend from America. She’s been having an amazing time, and it’s great to see her getting the chance to enjoy herself. Meanwhile, my dad’s been holding down the fort at home, taking care of the cooking and keeping everything in order. What’s surprised me most is how well he’s shifted into this role. It’s usually Mum who keeps things running smoothly, but Dad has stepped up to make sure I don’t use too much energy and can focus on what I need for work and living.
